In The Sims 3, you make two Sims boyfriend and girlfriend by building them into a Romantic Interest and then using Propose Going Steady from the Romantic menu. The option only appears after enough successful romantic socials, and it is part of the base game, so no expansion pack is required. Below we cover how to build the romance, what unlocks the proposal, how to avoid a rejection, and where the relationship can go next.
Who Can Go Steady
Going steady works for Sims aged teen through elder. Teens can date other teens, and young adults, adults and elders can date each other, but the game does not allow romance between a teen and an adult. Children cannot use romantic socials at all. Gender does not matter: any two eligible Sims can date.
Everything here is in the base game. Expansions add extra romantic socials and places to take a date (Late Night’s clubs and Seasons’ festivals, for example), but the core steps are the same with or without them. The game is no longer patched, so these interactions are final.
Step 1: Build a Romantic Interest
Click the other Sim to open the interaction menu (left-click on PC and Mac), then work through the categories.
- Start friendly. Use Friendly socials such as chatting, complimenting and telling jokes until the relationship bar is comfortably positive. Romantic socials on a near-stranger are likely to be rejected.
- Move to Romantic. Open the Romantic category and use the lighter options first, such as flirting. As the relationship grows, bolder socials appear in the menu.
- Watch for the label. After successful romantic socials, the relationship in your Sim’s Relationships panel changes to Romantic Interest. Sims who are Romantic Interests get the My Love moodlet when they are near each other.
Traits speed this up or slow it down. Flirty and Charismatic Sims do better with romantic socials, and the Charisma skill helps too, while Unflirty Sims find romance slower going.
Step 2: Propose Going Steady
The proposal does not appear the moment your Sims become Romantic Interests. According to the community wiki’s write-up of the game’s rules, you need to keep landing successful romantic interactions until a message says the other Sim finds yours extremely irresistible. At that point Propose Going Steady appears under the Romantic category. A Sim with the Hopeless Romantic trait can skip the wait and propose earlier.
When the option shows up:
- Make sure both Sims are in a good mood. A hungry, exhausted or upset Sim is a poor audience for any social, and this one is no exception.
- Avoid proposing straight after a rejected social. A failed romantic interaction lowers the relationship and makes a yes less likely.
- If the answer is no, go back to friendly and romantic socials for a while and try again later.
If they accept, the relationship changes to boyfriend or girlfriend. The community wiki lists this level as Partner in the relationship tables.
Keeping the Relationship Healthy
Going steady is not permanent. Your Sim can Break Up, which turns the relationship into an ex and drops the bar sharply, and the other Sim can end it too. A few habits keep a steady relationship alive:
- Keep interacting. Relationships in The Sims 3 decay over time if Sims ignore each other. Call or visit regularly.
- Do not get caught cheating. Flirting with someone else in front of a partner causes jealousy and can end the relationship.
- Mind the mood. Sims in a good mood accept socials more often, so a meal and a shower before a date help.
If you need a clean break, the Ask to Just Be Friends social can turn a romantic relationship back into a friendship once the relationship bar is high enough.
What Comes Next
Boyfriend and girlfriend is the middle of the romance ladder. From here your Sims can:
- Move in together. Our move-in guide covers the social and the household limits.
- Get engaged and married. Propose from the Romantic menu to become fiancés, then hold a wedding party or a private wedding. See our Sims 3 marriage guide.
- Try for a baby. Young adult and adult couples can use Woohoo and Try for Baby. Our Woohoo guide covers the requirements.
For more relationship, career and life stage guides across the series, see our Sims hub.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why can’t I see Propose Going Steady? Your Sims are probably Romantic Interests but not yet close enough. Keep using successful romantic socials until the game says the other Sim finds yours extremely irresistible, then check the Romantic category again.
Do I need an expansion pack to have a boyfriend or girlfriend in The Sims 3? No. Going steady is part of the base game.
Can teens be boyfriend and girlfriend? Yes, teens can go steady with other teens. Teens cannot romance adults.
What happens if the proposal is rejected? The relationship takes a hit, but the Sims stay Romantic Interests. Rebuild with friendly and romantic socials and propose again later.
Is there a cheat to skip straight to boyfriend and girlfriend? With testingcheatsenabled on, you can drag the relationship bar up, but the go steady proposal still has to be made. Our cheats guide explains how to open the console.